Condolences

This post might be up a little too late, but I would just like to wish condolences to my good friend, Bernice since she has just lost her beloved grandmother a few days ago. I couldn't find the words to say so I put off this post. It wasn't until I finished reading her post that I finally got an idea of what I wanted to say.

Though, I still don't think it's my place to say anything. So, I will just say this~

I'm sure that wherever your apo is in heaven now, I'm sure that she is looking down on you and smiling proudly as her little grand daughter has finally turned into a grown woman. Plus, now she gets to see you whenever she wants! She doesn't have to wait for you to visit her anymore... So, I'm sure she's happy~

:)

So NOISY!

After sitting down in my room today, with the fan turned off, I just sat in silence listening to the sounds around me. I never really stopped to appreciate the silence and peace that static musty air gives you. I live in a world full of noise and so do you, but usually, like anyone else who has a life, we ignore the sounds around us. The honks, bonks, crash, bangs, bumps and clangs of life.

I felt peaceful lying down on my bed looking at the ceiling. It was so quiet, I swear that I could hear the air moving in and out of my ears. I was also quite surprised at how tolerant I was, how tolerant everyone was with all the noise. In school, I am bombarded with hundreds of sounds. Teens gossiping, teachers scolding, construction, traffic on the road, screams, laughs, giggles, scraping and all the like. At home, I have an array of sounds coming from all the animals. I have a cat, 3 dogs including 5 whining puppies and a noisy scraping hamster. Not forgetting the TV and all that music blasting from my headphones into my ears too! It's like sound pollution heaven, and that's only in Sandakan! I wonder how bad the pollution would be in New York... That, definitely could cause hearing damage.

Heck, with all this noise, I wouldn't be surprised that when I'm old and probably crippled, I'd be at least half deaf. Or worse case scenario I'd be legally deaf by 50.

Anyhow, from now on I would definitely look after my ears. Without them, I might not be able to appreciate the beauty of music, which has become one of my obsessions. And as a teen, that would be like giving an innocent a life sentence. So, I'll lower the TVs volume, less head phone time and if possible bring ear plugs to school.

Who left the tables out?!

It's Monday. The very first day of the week. I get to school early in the morning to find some of the tables arranged together with some chairs outside my class. So in my mind I'm going, "What the heck?" I enter the classroom to find that the early birds have already claimed some of the chairs and tables that were left in the class as their own. Making the classroom look quite bare in places where there were no tables.

After arranging my row of tables I went about my business as usual, its like only 6.00 am. School doesn't start till 6.45 am. Yes, we do get up ridiculously early just to go to school. In my opinion, I think it's inhumane, the students living in Sabah have to wake up earlier to leave for school... Anyway, slowly the class starts to fill up with noisy students. Each having their own personal voice decibel. Pretty soon, I wasn't able to hear myself think. As was the tradition of our class.

Then, the bell rang, signifying the start of the school day and also the start of our Monday morning assembly. Which all the students, including me despite being a prefect, were dreading. I swear they were all walking abnormally slow when the time came to enter the hall. You should see them during recess, they run like its the end of the world.

End of assembly, and everyone reluctantly go back to their classes. I enter my class and see the tables still outside. Nobody had bothered to even help with lifting the tables despite the giant gaps in the middle of the classroom. Of course, I was one of them. Not proud of it by the way, but I have now realised that my class is full of self centered, hypocritical people who don't help without being asked. Once I realised this, I immediately went outside and began hauling the tables inside while shaking my head.

Out of the 45 people in my class, not one had stood up to help carry the tables. Instead, all of them refused to even take notice and just went about their noisy business.

I have no idea where this type of attitude came from. All I know is that I'm really surprised at the students of 4A.

Shy or just selfish?

I don't have a best friend. I find it unfair for anyone else who is 'just' my friend so I don't choose.

That is what I tell people... But the fact is...

I have very close friend.... I've been with her through thick and thin, shared my deepest and inner most secrets with her and have even let her stay in my house.It's so easy to talk to her, and I tell her just about everything! If that isn't a best friend, I don't know what is...

The thing is, I don't embrace this fact. I actually deny it. Even if she does say that I am her best friend, and as much as I want to tell her the same thing, I can't. Am I selfish? Or just shy to admit my feelings after denying it for so long?

I plan to tell her someday... But I don't know when... She deserves to know that I do appreciate her and love her for the good friend that she is. Deserves to know that I too think of her as a best friend...

I just realised this today and I can't get it off my mind. I feel so dumb not having noticed this earlier...

Be Stress Free

Honestly, I don't understand why teens are so stressed nowadays. In the past it seems that teens were the most laid back people in the community. They might not be as innocent as children or as wise as the adults, but they're growing and learning.

I know that one's intelligence quotient is very important, especially in the world today where you need certain qualifications to get a high paying job and everything. But the process to achieve this intelligence is a hard fought one full of twists and turns. I, in particular, am having a really hard time staying with my schools curriculum. It's not that I don't want to study. As a matter of fact, I'm hungry for information. I'm also not saying that the schools nowadays aren't giving and supplying the information that I want and crave. It's all there. There's just something wrong with how it is all presented to the students.

What I mean is, we have the information, but no way to express it to the students. I'm talking about the teachers. It's very hard to find good, motivating, uplifting teachers these days. In fact, I've never met a teacher that has ever inspired me to finish my homework on time. The methods of teaching used in my classes are very boring and extremely dull. All they do is just make me annoyed with the subject and just couldn't be bothered with it anymore. Some of the people, who might be reading this, especially teachers and parents, would say that this is the wrong attitude. Believe me, I've tried voicing my opinions out to my parents. They can sometimes understand and at other times they have no idea.

Parents and educators of today might say that the education system today is very lenient compared to the strictness of the schools a long time ago. You can actually say that were lucky as teens now. I think its great that some parts of the world have abolished corporal punishment, but in Malaysia, this type of punishment is far from being abolished. In Malaysia, only the boys can receive CP while girls aren't allowed to be hit. Personally, I don't find this fair. Even if you are a girl or a boy, you should not be hit. Even if this is to instill good behavior and deter bad ones, what is most important is the foundation that these children receive. Since everything starts from home, parents play a bigger role in ensuring that a child can tell right from wrong and is able to make the right decisions based on this foundation.

I seem to have strayed from my topic. O_O

I'm unhappy with how the guidelines of education in Malaysia. According to my dad, it is compulsory for children to attend school. WE Malaysians aren't allowed to be home schooled. I want to be home schooled. I want to learn at my own space,without the stressful factors of school getting in my way. I, personally am having a hard time keeping up. Since the schools only have less than a year to finish their wide syllabus, the teachers often end up speeding through the whole thing without regard to whether the students understand them or not. After all, they're still getting paid no matter what grades their students get in class. Be it an A or an E.

This often results in the students taking tuition. Without tuition, I bet we would have a pandemic of idiots walking around our country. So, it's actually tuition building and sculpting the leaders of tomorrow. As hard as it is to swallow, it is FACT. I find that tuition is a form of home study. Since you either go to special centers or to a teachers house for tuition. This type of 'Home Study' is stress free and allows the teacher and student to bond. Some teachers are not able to open up to their students in school, but they turn into social extroverts once they're home and in their short pants and T-shirts rather than the batik, ties and heels they use to school everyday. Also, studies show that your mental state actually influences how well you are able to accept, process or retrieve information. So, compared to school where you are bombarded with countless assignments, loads of homework, possibilities of punishment and lots of other stressful factors, you could actually be learning more just by sitting at a dining table for two hours.

Also, tuition is a way to get extra money. But the effectiveness of the tuition session also still depends on what type of teacher is teaching. After all, what use use is tuition if you have an equally boring and useless teacher like in school?

I asked my dad if it was alright for me to stop school and be home schooled. Because about one quarter of the general information in my brain right now come from my parents. He said that it was possible, but it's just that the Malaysian government doesn't allow it.

^^ I'd probably be migrating out once I start working...